Make Way!

When we were kids we'd make-believe that one of our small group was royalty. The rest would march around shouting "Make way for the Queen! Make way for the Queen!" I don't know which was more fun, the shouting or the temporary status upgrade to queen. 

Other than the marching and shouting, or waving and nodding if you were the elected monarch, I don't remember a purpose to this game. In retrospect, it might have been an excuse to march and shout. Whatever. The ultimate goal wasn't important.

It was easy. It was fun. It didn't matter who you were in your existence before the game. Child transformed to monarch. Parents, teachers, babysitters to subjects. What mattered was that important things were happening NOW and you needed to get the hell out of the way. 

This weekend has been a weekend of clutter-clearing to make way for new, long longed-for and possibly important things. It's hard. Everything involves a decision. I crave the simplicity of that childhood game as I work. That ability to clear my space with ease. 

Make way...make way...make way...

I mull over every single thing. Things I've attached memories to. Things that were once important, expensive, supposedly useful. Things that might still be useful. Things I might need. What if...? It's hard to forget previous existences.  To let go of the past and the possibilities and make a decision based on right NOW.  

There's guilt too. Things that are destined for the dump are particularly difficult. Can someone fix it? Use it? Can I get any more use out of it? There's a set of sheer curtains in a closet downstairs that were left by the previous owners. They are beyond use as curtains, yet there they sit. Might they be drop-cloths? Is there something I can use them for, that someone could use them for, that would keep them out of the dump? Is it worth the effort to store them any longer just in case?

Make way...make way...make way...

A lot of progress has been made. It feels like there's more to do. I'm trying be satisfied with what has been accomplished instead of worrying that I should do more. Sometimes it feels like I'm on a roll and it's good to keep working. Sometimes the anxiety to "finish" is paralysing. 

Sounds like there's more to clear than just the physical space. Let go of the goals, the guilt, the shoulds and the maybes. Mental and physical cobwebs be gone!

Make way...make way...make way...