Hormones, Holidays and Other Excuses

Grocery shopping yesterday. I will admit to buying a few things that are almost, but not quite, entirely unlike food.* I was shopping by myself, so I have no one else to blame for the rogue items that slipped into my cart. Instead I’ll blame it on hormones and the upcoming holiday. (That’s Thanksgiving for those of you who are unfamiliar with our strange Canadian customs.)

I cannot make pie pastry. Many have tried to teach me, but in spite of their best efforts, my pie crusts end up rock hard from overworking, or soggy from my tears of frustration. In my house pastry preparation involves extreme swearing, screaming and throwing things. I no longer attempt to make pie pastry. I buy pre-made pie shells. In fact, I bought one today. It was one of those items that slipped into my cart. You see, I want pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving dinner. I can make pumpkin pie filling, and it’s far superior to anything you will find in a prepared pumpkin pie. I just needed something to hold the filling. Thus the prepared pie shell. I’m just going to ignore that I can only identify four of the eight ingredients listed on the package. I’m hoping that by the time Thanksgiving rolls around again I will have found a better alternative.

I’m in the early stages of re-thinking my food choices, so I’m trying to give myself some leeway. I consider it part of my goal not to drive myself crazy about this process. Instead I’ll give myself credit for the many good choices I did make. Given the PMS emergency, I’m actually pleased that so few extras followed me home. I mean, how could I resist candy-coated chocolate or microwave popcorn? Besides, I’m sure the chocolate items don’t count. I bought them from the bulk section, where there are no ingredient lists. I’ll assume they are of the highest quality, organic, healthful ingredients. For today. When I feel less like I’m being hijacked by my hormones I’ll try to find reasonable alternatives. Then the next time I feel like I’d trade my house, my car and my cat for a bag of chocolate-covered potato chips I can be prepared.

(Note: When I wrote the bit above, I thought chocolate-covered potato chips existed only in my imagination. Then I Googled “chocolate covered potato chips” and found out that they do exist. In fact, you can get a 3lb box of them delivered to your door. What a time to discover that little bit of information!)

* My humble adaptation of a wonderful, useful turn-of-phrase coined by the great Douglas Adams.